To Help or Not to Help

The Surprising Lesson I Learned from a Puzzle Game

As I took a break from my usual routine of studying my mind and all that personal growth stuff, I really wanted to switch off and embrace some brain candy, which i never do. So I decided to download a puzzle game from the app store. I wanted to break the pattern and have some light purposeless fun, so after downloading this mindless game (which i don’t even remember the name of), I set a timer for 15 minutes and started playing.

Unaware of where this innocuous decision would lead me, I quickly dropped into a profound realisation about myself and my relationship with asking for help.

This game was like Candy Crush, the type where you line up the colours and shapes to make them disappear and earn points. In just a few seconds I noticed, whenever I hesitated on a move, even just for a few seconds, the game would make certain blocks flash obnoxiously to show me what to do next. At first, I thought it was just a hint or a suggestion, but then it kept happening, the game was taking away my ability and time to figure it out. I’m thinking, what is the point in this if someone is telling me what to do? I want to solve puzzles on my own, without any interference or guidance. Hence, what I understand is the point of a puzzle.

When I connected to the feelings of irritation that came with it, i was suddenly sent into an awareness flashback of my childhood, to all the times when I experienced a similar sensation. whenever someone tried to help me with something, as in ‘show me what to do’ whether it was a parent, a teacher, or a friend, I would instinctively resist and push them away. This was a common pattern i played out, i recalled. 

It was as if I needed to prove my competence and independence, even if it meant struggling, failing, or taking time. I didn't want anyone to take away my chance to figure things out for myself.

This behavior had become so ingrained in me that I didn't even realize i was behaving this way. And how many times, I wonder, did I do this with other people.. 

Thanks to the constant interruptions of this rude and seemingly pointless game it helped me see this particular aspect of myself. 

It was not new to me that I had programmed fears and a history of having issues asking for help. I was more fascinated by the specific nuance of how it showed itself to me.  

Once I realized this, I no longer had any desire to play the game, and instead rapidly changed to a sense of excitement to explore and shift my beliefs and perceptions on this subject with the help of PSYCH-K®

The knee-jerk response to many situations would be to reject help or avoid asking for it at any cost. But I began to remove these barriers and instead of rejecting help outright which would be the old way, I decided i could learn to communicate my needs and preferences more clearly, and changed my subconscious beliefs around that accordingly.

I now have a new freedom to ask for help without feeling so rushed, or judged, and now feel so much more comfortable to take my time and the space to discover my own solutions.

I am reminded of my personal favorite mentors. They are almost invariably those who tend to remain in an energy of knowing, love, and silence despite the situation, without the ego needing to give the answers. The people that look at you with a patient, compassionate, unwavering gaze as if to say ‘I have all the time in the world, and you have the answer already… what are you asking me for?’ 

The overcoming of our struggles becomes our teachings to others.

As I reflected on this experience, I also thought about how this triggering situation related to my own approach to helping others. I realized I wanted to give people the same space and freedom I wanted for myself. Even if it takes time, I don't want to rob their chance to learn and grow, even if it meant they would struggle or make mistakes.

When I thought about who my favourite teachers were, I found they were those who allowed the wisdom and insights to come from the person, they were not the source of their answers or solutions.

Thanks to this silly game, the purpose of which is to see patterns and make the blocks disappear, I was able to see my own patterns and make them disappear. The most unlikely of situations can help you see these blind spots and personal limitations if you are open.

You can find and release your subconscious patterns with ease, and create new beliefs that support the life you want to create. Discover More Here